Ah Superbowl Sunday! Started the game at a friend's house, comatose on the couch and the only one cheering. Came home during halftime to the Patriots down by 10 in the 3rd. Got a pom-pom from cheerleader friend and shook and yelled and drank until the awesome ending. Butler is wandering around in tears talking about inspired dreams of big plays, man that was so close to a lose it was very exciting. The boys and the dog pretty much stayed out of the way. Nashoba by huddling up on the couch and trying to look small and the boys with digital devices in their rooms. I ate ruffles chips in french onion dip like it was going out of style.
What an awesome night last night too. Apparently I snored a lot when I crashed at my lady friend's house (used to be my house). Birthday success, fun music, conversations, dancing, a really good time that went until 6-7am. Finally a party I was pretty darn comfortable at and was able to really relax and enjoy what was happening.
I had shoved 5 balloon arrangements and one monster balloon into the cab of my truck and basically left myself with visibility only on the left side. I made left only turns the whole way, balloons getting caught up in the steering column. Hairy! This week I also start housesitting in the city. Probably a whole temporary move in for three weeks, Figure this is a good time to get out and meet some men too.
I don't have much drive yet to get into a relationship, even a temporary one, yet I am pushing myself to get out there and try. Feels like the clock is ticking and also that the ticking clock feeling could be a real detriment to the process. Something will happen naturally and in the right time for everyone. But this singleness feels a bit pressing if I ever want to start my own family. My 38th birthday is around the corner and all of my romantic math points to starting looking now.
There's always that part of my thoughts that recriminates me for time wasted in non-producing relationships, wholly discounting the value of these relationships. I'd like to start this next journey without the attachment to the idea of successful partnership and let myself finally trust my instincts without all of the mental obsessing that usually goes along with this process.