I am being challenged in ways I've never experienced before on this trip. Friends come and go through this time so much faster. This morning, I'm missing one such friend, his room emptied out, the mattress leaning against the wall, four walls stripped down to peeling paint and battered hotel tables. It's no surprise, but there it is, this space devoid of that energy.
I keep wondering when I will be normal again or what normal ever was. Was it that place of regularity with bedtimes, mealtimes, workouts, work? That place that I walked away from that I divorced wholeheartedly and we're still trying to be friends, normal and I. It's a cloudy day today in paradise and flowers are catching the wind as they fall onto the water, a pink, airfilled cluster scattered across the decking, blowing past my skin with a touch as light as a mosquito.
I consider eating for lack of anything else to do. After a late night sending my friend off back to his home by being his disco wingman, I've incapacitated myself today to the point where work, future plans, are all beyond me and I am woman sitting with computer in the falling flowers feeling that empty room above me.
The day has passed.....
I've been surprisingly industrious, knocking a lot off of my to do list, taking care of my business and PETA work. Pretty much glued to my computer and slogging through. Ended up at a restaurant tonight that served me the best food I've had in Thailand. Run by a family (the WHOLE family, menu dropped at my table by a 10-year-old), boasting healthy, vegetarian fare, I tucked into a bowl of soup traditional to northern Thailand. Curry soup, rich, filled with potato, onion, crunchy something on top, seasoned to perfection, and so very, very aroy aroy. Unsure of portion sizes when I ordered, I also got the tofu laab and it slew every other laab I've had here - again, perfectly seasoned. Almost as good as Randy's, actually.
As I ate, I read from a really good find at a local used bookstore owned by an ex-pat Irishman in his 60s, the local guidebook that ran me 450 baht and is worth every baht. I'm learning about spirit houses, the lingering power that women have from pre-Buddhist culture in north Thailand, and where to get a damn good burrito. Really a great book and a welcomed background and guidance on what to do next, including checking out the Alex Gray-esque murals covering one of the local Wat's interiors. Will take pics.
Another of today's highlights was purchasing my flight to Bali. Yeah, that's right, Bali. And no, I'm not trying to convince anyone outside of myself on that! In March, I fly to Bali for just over a month and I am pretty thrilled with just the idea of it.
Not a bad day after all. My friend had left a spirit house flower wreath on my door, and he popped back up later in the day to collect a hug, exchange well-wishes, and then head home to Tokyo. And, as the title might suggest, it did rain in Chiang Mai for about 10 minutes at sunset.